That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
