In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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