I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
