There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize