he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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