Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
