Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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