i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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