I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
