im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
