I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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