I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
