You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
