Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
