I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
