help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
