I hate your face
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The feeling are messing with the penis
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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