We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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