my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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