I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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