Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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