he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
