No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
only you would photoshop your dick
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
