There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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