I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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