Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
