Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
