that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
