We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
