ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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