I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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