Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
