are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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