A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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