I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
