Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
