I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
