is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
