she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
