Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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