I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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