This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
