I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
