she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
