She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
