"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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