Moan for me like Helen Keller
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Im part way to drunk.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
