you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We got so high we made milksteak
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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