You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Alive.
So much puke
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
