Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
