I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
