I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
