I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
